semester one week away from being over. boyfriend a prick again, sunday, im anxious and lazy. im going back to church next sunday. im laying in bed with my cat after a strange saturday night and a week with some stomach flu. i drove up to school friday and suddenly felt too faint to drive. i pulled over at a gas station and called my parents to see if they could pick me up. my dad called me and told me that i had to go to school, else there would be consequences. i was in the car, fainting, my stomach was killing me, i had a migraine and i mamaged to drive all the way up to school, i pulled myself through and crashed into my class, and i crashed on the floor before picking myself up and going about. i told my mom to pick me up at a nearby parking lot since the one at school is hard to get into. she told me not to i did it anyway. i didnt want any trouble. and when i did, i called my parents who were already driving to pick me up and they were furious about me leaving. they were fuming. telling me that if i could drive those 2 minutes from school to the parking lot i could drive 30 kms back home. i cried and cried in my car, Felt the week my stomach was churning. I was left stranded and abandoned. i picked myself up and drove home. my dad wouldnt let me turn on the AC. I sweated it off. by saturday, it was fine and my stomach had settled. i thought id never get better, i didnt move from ym bed or eat a crumb from tuesday to friday. but my stupid boyfriend ruined the night for me. i cant find the strength to leave or stay. sometimes im sure i love him sometimes i think im just not in the place to move on. maybe its just how im used to him. hes charming enough. god.
washer
Goodnight my love
Remember me as you fall to sleep
Fill your pockets with the dust and the memories
That rises from the shoes on my feet
I won't be back here
Though we may meet again
I know it's dark outside
Don't be afraid
Everytime I ever cried from fear
Was just a mistake that I made
Wash yourself in your tears
And build your church
On the strength of your faith
Please
Listen to me
Don't let go
Don't let this desperate moonlight leave me
With your empty pillow
Promise me the sun will rise again
I too am tired now
Embracing thoughts of tonight's dreamless sleep
My head is empty
My toes are warm
I am safe from harm...
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