washer

Goodnight my love Remember me as you fall to sleep Fill your pockets with the dust and the memories That rises from the shoes on my feet I won't be back here Though we may meet again I know it's dark outside Don't be afraid Everytime I ever cried from fear Was just a mistake that I made Wash yourself in your tears And build your church On the strength of your faith Please Listen to me Don't let go Don't let this desperate moonlight leave me With your empty pillow Promise me the sun will rise again I too am tired now Embracing thoughts of tonight's dreamless sleep My head is empty My toes are warm I am safe from harm...

Sunday, May 4, 2025

its me

 semester one week away from being over. boyfriend a prick again, sunday, im anxious and lazy. im going back to church next sunday. im laying in bed with my cat after a strange saturday night and a week with some stomach flu. i drove up to school friday and suddenly felt too faint to drive. i pulled over at a gas station and called my parents to see if they could pick me up. my dad called me and told me that i had to go to school, else there would be consequences. i was in the car, fainting, my stomach was killing me, i had a migraine and i mamaged to drive all the way up to school, i pulled myself through and crashed into my class, and i crashed on the floor before picking myself up and going about. i told my mom to pick me up at a nearby parking lot since the one at school is hard to get into. she told me not to i did it anyway. i didnt want any trouble. and when i did, i called my parents who were already driving to pick me up and they were furious about me leaving. they were fuming. telling me that if i could drive those 2 minutes from school to the parking lot i could drive 30 kms back home. i cried and cried in my car, Felt the week my stomach was churning. I was left stranded and abandoned. i picked myself up and drove home. my dad wouldnt let me turn on the AC. I sweated it off. by saturday, it was fine and my stomach had settled. i thought id never get better, i didnt move from ym bed or eat a crumb from tuesday to friday. but my stupid boyfriend ruined the night for me. i cant find the strength to leave or stay. sometimes im sure i love him sometimes i think im just not in the place to move on. maybe its just how im used to him. hes charming enough. god. 

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