haii ..
God, its been ok. got my tongue pierced and my other foot done. trad cobweb and born to die right under it. a 536 at the center of the other one. looks fine. healing as one would expect. hurts like hell. but i can talk fine now and eat semi solid foods. canned chicken soup and whatnot. with bits of vegetables and like five bits of some limp pasta. had not had pasta in ages. digested it just fine. whatever. things may be looking up. got some vintage jewelry for a total of what 45 usd the other day. two rings, two big necklaces. i think. feel weird, prayed over them and sprayed some holy water.
in a deep cloud of unflinching misery, listening to post punk and dsbm this summer. wont even try to fool myself into feeling fine by listening to solar power or whatever. wa t a place to find rest but i wont. summer school is not extremely grueling but i AM home alone and im an extremely paranoid person. im afraid i might be developing some type of schizophrenic disorder but i dont think so. my visions are prophetic and i do think i have a stronger spiritual drive than most people. the shapes i do see make sense in context and i dont hear voices. i only ever talk to myself. but if my visions are not in fact an angel sending me messages then i might be cooked.
its not been too bad. im trying to listen to more music akin to waht im doing and solidifying my own personal sound. someone i dont know found my ep and liked it enough to buy it and donate one additional dollar. yay!
ill be twenty years old soon. GGOOOODODD!!!!!!!!!!!JRWAFDOKSMJC LGK
and its been ok honestly. dont love my classes and clasmates, dont like coming to this specific university mostly out of a deep feeling of disconnect, a bit more literal than before. in my other university this feeling of disconnect and hollowness was a bit broader and hit deeper. people here are just right winged. which is to say RETARDED .
ill be ok.
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