glory! : the names of God and you Jesus

washer

Goodnight my love Remember me as you fall to sleep Fill your pockets with the dust and the memories That rises from the shoes on my feet I won't be back here Though we may meet again I know it's dark outside Don't be afraid Everytime I ever cried from fear Was just a mistake that I made Wash yourself in your tears And build your church On the strength of your faith Please Listen to me Don't let go Don't let this desperate moonlight leave me With your empty pillow Promise me the sun will rise again I too am tired now Embracing thoughts of tonight's dreamless sleep My head is empty My toes are warm I am safe from harm...

Wednesday, April 1, 2026

the names of God and you Jesus

i can want anyone but my heart longs for you, my one. you are the total weight of my heart and the exact point of the day where i have no shadow.

you are my flag and the north on my compass, the point that feels the most right on my earthbound. you point to me, i know it. i saw you dance like i dance and this summertime i long for you like, as psalms say, the deer pants for the running stream. i do, i stand waiting for the day where i can lay back in your arms and rest my head on your rising chest, like the mountain that cradles my childhood home, where you are the sun as the one you were born under. my lion and pride, my creed.

you are the blood to my blood that runs off now, without me in every sense but thought. i won't drive you out of my mind because i love you. you told me i could, easily, i have, easier than i thought, i want you.

not my skin or meat and not my mind but my bleeding, laying heart. you are my home. i send you a kiss with the wind so that when it caresses your high cheek it is mine. you are the grief of my past and the hopeful venture i await here, now.

as i gaze upon the moon that surely belongs to our memory as well i realize no black cloud can obscure it and no wind can shake its light. she and i are similar in that sense, eternal before and beyond humanity. as are we, i love you.

trial upon trial and laid on the bed of a defeated rival of mine, more soon to come to soften the bed, my love loves you only at the thinning end of dawn, at the triumphant bloom of the dusk that i have never seen. i am nocturnal and know not of the latter.

you walk beside me and i walk alone, i walk with you every step. through the shadow of the valley of death, i fear no evil. i am the most evil in this stride of this hill. my malefic to my side, my father that is great in his cold breath. my dark mother who groans and shakes the earth. angels circle around me, vultures of everyone who i encounter. and for my lifetime i am her, who brings death, i am wicked and that is my work in this world, as your Father appointed me. i will die soon, and you will walk forever. i will walk by your side white and bleached by the light.

come to me, beloved and wrong, come to me so i can learn my final lesson in forgiveness and splendor. we are splendid together. i love you. i do, over all my witchery and all my blackened teeth.

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sylvia plath, the bell jar

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

Psalm 18: 6-11

In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. Smoke went up from His nostrils, And devouring fire from His mouth; Coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down With darkness under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters And thick clouds of the skies.